One of the major symptoms of Borderline disorder is affective instability. In the Borderline Zone, people tend to overreact to things that happen to them. This tendency stems from the topic of stress hypersensitivity and is more thoroughly discussed in the article, “How to Counteract Borderline Behavior Patterns.” In this article, we will discuss how exposure to particular environments can affect your mood without your awareness. Such exposure can make you feel depressed, angry, enraged, impulsive, hyper, or a combination thereof, and leave you puzzled about the cause.
A young man in a treatment program started to understand his psychotraumatic past when he became aware of the effect his environment had on him. The staff who supported him helped him to work through his feelings. He began to feel a lot better about himself. In a phone call to his mother, he brought up his memories and feelings. She told him that they were all false memories and invalidated his emotions. The young man became confused and angry for days afterward.
The environment this young man was exposed to was the phone call with his mother. The effect was an increase in his “affective instability.” Since his mother was part of his psychotraumatic past, her words had a powerful conditioned effect on him apart from their content. Her invalidation of his feelings, and denial of the reality of his past as he perceived it, triggered a period of emotional destabilization. If this young man had not been in a residential treatment program, he probably would have engaged in an addictive activity to cope with his exposure.
Caregivers who psychotraumatized their children tend to deny their responsibility, and invalidate the perceptions, recollections, and feelings of their adult children. The caregiver’s denial makes you doubt your own knowledge base. This stand-off contributes to your stagnation in the Borderline Zone.
Another young man who was struggling through the Recovery Zone (living on his own and working) went for a holiday with his girlfriend to see his mother, who had assisted in his psychotraumatization. Having inherited a lot of money, his mother was doing well. The visit went well, however when he asked his mother if he could borrow twenty dollars she refused. Her refusal triggered a chain reaction of negative feelings in him. He did not show how he truly felt right away, but within twenty-four hours, and for many weeks thereafter, he saw himself as a loser and a failure. He slipped into a depression. It took a while for him to realize that he was angry at his mother for being unwilling to lend him just twenty dollars after she had inherited so much money. The young man felt rejected. He remembered the way she treated him as a child, her anger and rage and drunkenness, and he wondered why she hated him so much. What did he do to her? Ironically, his girlfriend found his mother to be a fine person and didn’t understand why he had gotten so upset.
This man also exposed himself to an environment (visit with his mom) that triggered a period of emotional destabilization. Fortunately, he did not allow this to trigger a prolonged episode of addictive escape. He did get drunk once but put a stop to his old behavior once he became aware of the true cause of his depression and self-hatred.
Psychotraumatization creates a conditioning history that can have powerful effects on your present behavior and feelings. This conditioning history is activated by environments that contain salient characteristics and are the same or similar to those that existed in your original psychotraumatic environments. It is important to note both young men grew up unaware of the effects their environment had on them and it wasn’t until they sought outside help were they made aware of the effects. Does either of these stories sound familiar to you? Speak with a BlueSky Behavioral Health professional today, and learn to identify which environments are triggering your old thoughts of anger and hurt. Every day is another opportunity to start fresh. Take advantage of the resources you have available, and change your narrative to one that motivates you to live a better life in this present moment.
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