At an earlier age than most, adolescents with BPD are forced to confront the world outside of their families. They are not ready for the rules, structure, and demands of that world. People suffering from borderline personality disorder are driven by fear, sadness, and anger. They are mature beyond their years in some ways (raw survival skills), but as naïve as toddlers in other ways (frustration and lack of tolerance). This combination of maturity and immaturity creates its own stresses. An adult appearance, some very battle-hardened survival skills, and unmet emotional needs are bound together by an unpredictable rage that guarantees an explosive introduction to the adult world.
At the borderline, crisis becomes the rule and calm the exception. Relief from an ever present sense of mental agony is the unconscious mantra and power source that motivates their search through society’s pleasure and pain alleyways. They search, hoping that their next pill, hit, drink, smoke, hairpin turn, cut, burn, or fuck will make everything different.
An Attitude of Need
Borderline Personality Disorder behavior makes it difficult for people to make positive use of their skills and abilities. A fear, bred of mistrust, of others and of relationships makes people with BPD very “selfish” and unable to give to a relationship. Their unmet childhood needs lead them to demand and to take. They are possessed by what is best described as an attitude of need.
Their mistrust leads them to fear being controlled and abused by others. Their loneliness and emptiness make it hard for them to feel loved even by those who do love them very much. People with borderline personality disorder regret the consequences of their borderline actions, but seem unable to stop. They want to do things differently. Unfortunately, the explosive momentum of their painful childhood makes it difficult for them to take control of their lives. They just can’t slow down enough to change things.
“Undoubtedly, what I’m about to share with you was and still is the hardest part of my recovery. For the rest of my life I will have to keep a close eye on where I’m at. I can never lose touch with myself. Things in my life are at a decent point new, but I can’t forget where I have come from and what I was life.
When I was about nineteen years old, life started to take some positive turns for me. I had a wonderful girlfriend, a good job, and I started to learn how to love myself. I’m not saying that life was all that good. I still had a lot of the old-time attitudes and traits. But I was trying hard to do the right thing. The one part of my life, at this time, that gave me a big problem was how I lacked the qualities needed to be a responsible adult. I was always a stubborn person and that didn’t help at all. Susan, my girlfriend, always told me to slow down but I never listened much. She would beg and plead with me to stop going out, stop partying, and pay more attention to her. If only I had listened to her we would still be together.”
BlueSky Behavioral Health offers individualized treatment programs for mental health disorders such as BDP. Our supportive and licensed clinical staff can make a difference in your life. Learn how to live life well - contact our facility today.